I read recently that ‘complaining’ is such a huge part of our make-up as human beings that most of the time we aren’t even aware that we are ‘complaining’!
I cannot recall where I read this but a person somewhere wrote that they were going to stop complaining. That every single sentence uttered, every thought in their minds, would be controlled to be only positive.
Can you imagine it?
I have been told by many that I am the most positive and optimistic person, but truth is, I’ve been known to complain. But the thing I have realised is that I usually only complain along with others or when around other serial complainers – so that I fit in!
Do you relate?
Don’t rock the boat by shouting out that we are different!
It’s kind of like following a local footy team in your home town because everyone else does as it just wouldn’t be right to support a team other than your own right? We, well the majority of us, are so eager to be seen as just the same as everyone else that we don’t rock the boat by shouting out that we are different! That we don’t think the same way as our neighbour, friend, parents, siblings and especially not our partners. It’s kind of a peace keeping failsafe!
As an experiment, I have been forcing myself to NOT agree with complainers. Thoughtfully keeping my words in check before they are uttered so that only positively happy stuff flows from my lips.
Feeling immense gratitude for all things, weather, green lights, red lights, full parking lots, traffic, interruptions, too much work, not enough work. Being tired, being pulled in all directions by employers, family, friends. Get it?
All of these things – and many more by the way – have positives about them!
You pass the postman, smile and say “nice day!” in a really positively happy tone. It’s pouring with rain, a little chilly, the forecast is for more of the same tomorrow. The postman looks at you as if you are crazy but does not respond. He doesn’t think it is a nice day but you just said it was so if he disagreed, a conflict of opinions would occur and another thing most of us do not particularly like is conflict.
Now think about it. If you had said “nice day’, with a hint of sarcasm in your voice and don’t even twitch your lips into the hint of a smile, do you think the postman would then react, agreeing with you simply because he knows that you are really ‘complaining’ about the weather? Unless of course the postman is already at the state of being positively happy!
Gratitude and Kindness are the key ingredients to holding your head up and living a positively happy existence.
Attitude is also essential. I hear so many ‘complaining’ about the ‘bad day/week/month/year’ they have had. Seriously? We can have bad ‘minutes’. Bad ‘moments’. Really if you are having a bad time for longer than an hour or so then take action to change it if you are able.
I can hear shouts of ‘you don’t know my life, you don’t know my circumstances’, and that is true. However, those who are in circumstances so dire that they truly cannot get out of their ‘bad day/week or year’ are not the people I am targeting with this, dare I say it, revelation. Those people do not complain.
They do not blame others or seek pity. These people are the ones that find the good and happy in even the worst of times.
Think about what you say before you say it.
I’ve been trying to train my own kids into pinpointing the ‘bad moment’ when they come home saying ‘it was such a bad day mum’. Define the moment that was bad. Then let it go. Throw it out in the trash and just focus on the GOOD things that happened for you throughout the day. Even if it is simply feeling gratitude that you were employed and able to serve others because you are alive, healthy and fit enough to do so.
Habits take a while to create – and break. I know. I have some bad habits I want to shake off and some good ones I want to develop. We are all beings with room for improvement in every aspect. I am yet to meet a perfect person.
I hope that you got some value from this post and come back again soon.
Please connect with me. Share your experiences by commenting below! Thank you so much for visiting.